Monday, October 30, 2006

i love my tongue scraper.

everyone should use one. at least, everyone around ME should have one on hand. this is my post for the day.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

burning man

i'm watching "The Drug Years" on the sundance channel and someone interviewed just compared that annual embarrassment Burning Man festival to Woodstock. i nearly dropped my mineral water when i heard this. buring man is an excuse for post dot.com douchebags and married folks who want to get away with infidelity to congregate, drop LSD, and take their clothes off. they can wallow in mud while dressed like a chicken and live lawlessly for a weekend. but, what kind of boundaries are pushed? anyone can take a bunch of drugs and get out of control. woo hoo. big deal. and the art that is made....is it that poignant and prolific? i am sure nothing created at burning man has impacted my life the way the music played at woodstock has. now, i have never been. thankfully. it does not impress me. woodstock, i was not there either. wish i could have been. woodstock was an epic event that can never be repeated. burning man looks like an adult rave. i can live without another rave for the rest of my days. i have a friend who goes every year. i need to ask her about it. she may change my mind.

i feel like i am always bitching in my blog. i guess i need to get in a better mood.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

F*$#K Hellhouse

like i want to be reminded that i COULD get pregnant and CHOOSE to have an abortion one day in my life. someone screaming "my baby! my baby!" does not sound like a haunted house, nor does it scare me into a pro-lifer. it makes me sad that the actor has to add to the global problem of NOISE pollution. i don't ever want to be in an operating room, nor go through a simulation of an abortion. sorry, fuck that. and a school shooting! give me a fucking break. i mean, let's exploit the ugliest parts of humanity. please. not enough of it already. and be reminded that some meth head lunatic can take out your children at any point of the school day. "It's not real, candace. can't you just see it as art?". my retort would be YES!! does the devil wear prada? yes. of course i can. and i would probably pay my admission fee for it. so i could write how ridiculous it truly was to endure. and then the angels come to save the day. well, i wish that were true. i am so adamantly against making a mockery of a tragic death (terry schiavo jokes, this garbage). it is offensive. and incredibly sad. to have JESUS, the Light at the end of this Hell (to go through- i am sure) House is a joke. It's like going to Jesus Christ Superstar and then feeling like you did your Christian duty for the decade. kind of. i don't know. i just wanted to rant. probably jibberish.
at first i thought this might be interesting. but the more i thought about it, the more i recanted my initial hunch. i exist, and i have enough Hell House that comes my way.

Monday, October 23, 2006

what i bought this weekend

a lamp covered with mirrors. tall, thin, and gaudy. like i like my men.

a bleached antler. to ward off evil.

artisan bread. because i ain't afraid of no carb.

two cactus plants. because they are easy to tend to. like i like children.

an indian buffet.

Friday, October 20, 2006

madonna #2

madonna looks ragged and awful. her overworked body is as dry and tough as a piece of beef jerky. she looks like she's been hanging by her pedicured mules in a smokehouse for, oh, about twenty years. she probably smothers herself in salt and wraps up in a cheese cloth every night. THAT WON'T CURE YOU, MS. NASTY THANG!
gawd, and enough with the goddamned unitards. those 'tards need to morph into dishrags, ASAP.
what happened?

i don't know why she bugs me so much right now.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

a funny exchange

my mom: oh, shane, did you get a haircut?

shane (my friend who is working out at my parent's house): uh, maybe.

my mom: who did it for you?

shane: i did. while i was in the woods.

my mom: (giggle giggle) that's so manly. would you give me a little trim?

shane: sure, if you wanna look like an asshole.

Monday, October 09, 2006

the humdrum of the monday

maybe everyone around is feeling the same thing as i am. is it time to get out in the park and play? the indian summer heat of memphis has passed and we could all use some fresh air. i feel thirsty. i feel so hygroscopic in my water consumption. i can't get enough. i mean, wtf? it's fall and i want to stop driving my gaddamned car all over town. my head has not been truly clear for about two weeks now. something or another keeping me from a truly productive day. bob lind helps. it seems. maybe i should write a hymn to the fall weather. do i have to include God, proper? my music listening includes Iran and early mercury rev. thanks to that lovely man in my life. tried at my hand at making some noise music last week. it just sounded like noise.